Wednesday, November 4, 2009

ANESTHESIOLOGIST














AVERAGE YEARLY SALARY: $321, 686

WOW FACTOR: 3

PARENTAL PRIDE QUOTIENT: 8
(Just being a doctor gets you a 7 out of the box. The lone exception? Abortionist.)

DANGER INDEX: 2


IS IT RIGHT FOR ME?

Do you have a burning desire to put people to sleep? Then you’re looking at two possible career paths: Anesthesiologist or Hypnotist.

Anesthesiologists make an average of $321,000 a year and are shown the respect and deference our society naturally bestows on doctors. Hypnotists make about 300 bucks per birthday party and often have their Saturns keyed by the very same audience members who just paid good money to be made complete asses of.

Your choice. But for the sake of argument, let’s say you go the Anesthesiologist route.

WHAT TRAINING DO I NEED?

Sorry, there’s no getting around it. To be an anesthesiologist, you have to go to medical school. In short, you have to be pretty smart. Can’t spell anesthesiologist? Not a problem. The world could always use more hypnotists.

HOW DO I GET THE JOB?

There’s actually a shortage of anesthesiologists right now, so you can relax. That’s good. Now count backwards from ten for me…

UPSIDE:

Anesthesiologists have a great sense of humor, which you already know if you’ve ever gone out to lunch with one and had them shout to the waitress, “Hey! Who do you have to put to sleep around here to get a cup of coffee?!!”

DOWNSIDE:

It’s a very short trip from “anesthesiologist” to “anus-thesiologist.” And your buddies won’t let you forget it.

2 comments:

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